Known. Loved. Called - Testimony by Dianah Lopez

The Following post is a testimony from my friend, Dianah Lopez! I pray it reaches you and that the Lord speaks encouragement into your life!

---

(“I have called you by name; you are mine.” Isaiah 43:1)

Dear Encourager,

I see you, and I know the kind of pain you have to walk through just to stand where you are today. I’m here to testify to what God has done for me. Many people know my name or my face, but not my story. The story of a girl who thought love had conditions.

I grew up in a home where love felt earned, not freely given. Where I was the star in public but worthless in private. I learned to be the perfect girl in front of strangers: kind, composed, always smiling. Inside, I wanted to be messy and honest. I was angry that the world didn’t see what happened behind closed doors. But God saw me. In the middle of the noise, I kept hearing a quiet reminder:” It’s not their testimony; it’s your testimony. You’re representing Me, not them.”

I won’t soften it: I was mentally, emotionally, and physically abused. I hid marks on my body under long sleeves and leggings and told people I had “slipped” or “fallen” when they noticed. I was always the “perfect helper,” but it was all due to the mental and emotional need to feel loved. I also grew up without my dad. So I felt horrible for not "appreciating'" the parent that was there. Those factors shaped my early years. They taught me to perform, to smile on cue, to swallow pain so others stayed comfortable. I didn’t understand why God would want someone like me. But He kept finding me through songs, through Scripture, and through people who were bright in my darkest days.

We had just started going to church when I was eight or nine. I was standing in a small Pentecostal church when the pastor’s daughter, Lily, began to sing “Cristo, yo te amo.” As I  sang along, a wave of love moved through me; steady, warm, personal. I am not sure if this was the first time I've heard this song. BUT it was the first time I knew God’s love for myself, not as an idea but as His presence. 

 We moved down the street to an apostolic church not too long after this moment. I had been at this church for about a year now. It was my first local junior camp. They asked, “Who wants to be baptized?” I was ten, and I knew the Lord was calling me into His Kingdom. I walked forward with a small, hurting girl. December 31, 2011, was the day I went down into the water. I came up different: not perfect, but held.

As I got older, God didn’t just comfort me; He began to rebuild me. I learned my worth wasn’t a grade, a medal, a body, or a title. I learned to call things by their names: abuse, fear, shame. Naming them didn’t make me weaker; it made space for healing. I set boundaries. I asked for help. I told the truth, even when my voice shook. God placed mentors and friends around me and, in His timing, He restored the father-shaped places in my life.

Years later, I’m still healing from my childhood. But God is working in my life. He was making room and turning things for good. Another song God used to speak to me is “Goodness of God.” I remember singing it for the choir, and Sis. Abby said, “There’s a story behind that song.” She was right. She didn't know what I had gone through, but you could see that I sang with all my heart, mind, and soul. God began to show me every single moment He had intervened, even before I came to Him. He showed me times when people had ill intentions, and yet His hand covered me like a Father. Looking back, I can trace His goodness following me.

None of this is easy to say or write. But if this reaches the person who’s desperate to get out, God can bring you out. He can restore what you lost. I have an amazing relationship with my earthly father today. In the seasons he wasn’t there, God was, and He was already writing redemption into my story.

Today I know who I am: known, loved, called. I am an ambassador of Christ. How I act, how I speak, and how I treat others reflect Him. If God could find a little girl who felt so unloved in a song and call her by name at a local camp, and show her unconditional Love. He can find you right where you are. Surely His goodness and mercy have followed me all my days. Psalm 23:6

He uses everything I went through to help me encourage others. I will always treat others with kindness and so much LOVE because that is what He did for me. He sent people who became light in my darkest days, people whose love and kindness I will carry with me forever. You never know what someone else is walking through. Be the encouragement in their life. Be the LOVE in the moments they feel the most unlovable.

As I close today, I want to leave you with this: God can take even the most broken parts of our story and use them to bring healing, hope, and love to others. Your story matters. Your kindness matters. And most of all, you are deeply loved

If no one has told you today, I love you, and GOD loves you so much. 

With love,

Dianah Lopez